The Blog

We’ve just come through a month which encompassed the Jewish New Year – Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, solemn days of reflection, atonement and forgiveness, in the face of divine judgement and mercy.

Although I’m not involved in these holidays much anymore, the prospect of God judging our characters and actions has made me think in our society of how quickly and readily we all judge one another. We live in an age of marketing and imagery – with an ability to evaluate endless items and ideas at the click of a button and to make snap decisions on people, places and things, often without a more thorough examination.

But we must be careful not to apply practices honed in the virtual world to real life, and to remember that people are not products and are invariably much more complex than they usually seem. Of course, everyone broadcasts an image and energy to the world, which we may or may not be compatible with, and which may come across as annoying or even contrary to ourselves, but we should try to focus on the immediate interaction, while not summarily pigeon holing or dismissing people from the outset.

It’s not only unfair and unkind to treat people with such a lack of respect, but it can become a kind of ‘othering’ than can lead to justifications of entitlement and inequality, where certain people are deemed to be less deserving, or even less human than others, which in turn, can predicate all manner of inhumane acts and conflict.

Of course, people we encounter on a daily basis may be quite different to us or have taken very diverse paths, but fundamentally, the way we interact with them boils down to the a maxim that spans across many religions and faiths, including Judaism: to treat others as you wish to be treated yourself.

When we look beyond the immediate picture, to give people space and time, to listen between the words and to have the patience to hear, we may be surprised and even enriched by the exchange. We can begin to see people’s nuances and strengths, and relate to many of their issues that we may well have experienced ourselves. And once you empathize with someone, it becomes harder to judge, dismiss or treat people with indifference or disdain.

This past month of the High Holidays is predicated on God judging you on your actions, but the truth is that we must be the ones to assess ourselves and our own behaviour. We can take a step back from our instantaneous evaluations and give people the space and compassion we to express themselves in ways that we would like for ourselves.

A solid practice in which to embark upon a new year.

I’m writing this from an English countryside that looks very different than any other summer. With no rain for months on end and a prolonged, searing heat, everywhere the ground is scorched and plants are stunted or wilting, looking nothing like the usual green and pleasant land.

I can only imagine what it’s been like for the farmers, with no crops to produce and already beleaguered animals getting ill from heat stress, disease and starvation. The extreme temperatures and lack of rain have also exacerbated forest fires in several parts of the country, with many people evacuated and their homes destroyed.

The heat, droughts, poor harvests and forest fires have made it increasingly difficult to view the climate crisis as an abstract concept happening ‘somewhere out there’ when it is literally on our doorstep. And yet, I still see in this society the lack of awareness of how our continued overconsumption, mindlessness and waste are directly contributing to the devastation.

Certainly, governments have their part – and need to step up – in legislating actions to help mitigate the worst effects of the climate crisis, hosepipe and portable BBQ bans being among the responses to the recent situation. But each and every one of us also must reconsider our own behaviour and lifestyle choices and redouble our efforts towards the environment if we are to have a chance in tackling this climate emergency.

Of course, I would wave my magic wand and make everyone vegan overnight, which would have a huge, beneficial impact. But even small adjustments can make a positive difference, with the realization that resources are not infinite and that we all need to consume less and reuse more.  We also need to work collectively to help and support one another through these challenges, not only because our house could be the next one burning.

This summer in England – as well as in other countries – has increasingly demonstrated the ways in which people, plants and animals are suffering all around us in ways that are impossible to ignore. Our time of selfish insulation needs to transform into a shared responsibility to address the environmental crisis with focus, will and determination, if there is any possibility of healing this planet and ensuring its survival.

This month, I volunteered once again at a local theatre fringe festival, one of my favourite events of the year. In exchange for completing 6 shifts, I was given a pass allowing me free entry to as many shows as I wished. Over the course of a week and a half, I saw 34 productions and was immersed in a wealth of talent and creativity expressed through story, song, dance, puppetry and immersive acting.

The performances that were the most compelling for me were those that reached out and made a meaningful connection with the audience. Some shows, on the other hand, were more vested on delivering a rant or venting unresolved problems. This kind of communication is problematic for me both on and off stage.

Most recently at another place where I regularly volunteer, I had a supervisor rage at me for something I had supposedly done wrong. For me, her unrelenting monologue seemed more about her reasserting her authority, rather than adhering to the collaborative approach I had become accustomed to in this community-run venture. When I asked that she at least consider her tone of voice before speaking, she unequivocally refused to do so.

When someone speaks at you and not to you, what they are really expressing is insecurity and a loss of control. This reassertion of power can be quite hurtful to another person and builds resentment and disassociation. It is also unnecessary and counterproductive to getting something done effectively and to creating a harmonious environment.

I think the sad thing these days is that we have more ways than ever to communicate, and yet, are regressing in our ability to engage with each other as human beings. With the commodification of online interactions and a relative lack of virtual accountability, we sometimes forget that the people we are speaking to ‘in real life’ are not inanimate machines to be objectified, but are sentient beings with feelings and vulnerabilities.

And as online platforms offer us the ability to control a one-way conversation, we are also losing the ability to listen to and interpret one another’s non-verbal signals and body language.

We hold our phones up as shields, showing that we are busy and engaged, but in truth, as a society, we are chronically more lonely than ever. While we are privileged in our ability to communicate world-wide through so many media, we should not lose sight of cultivating artful communication – speaking and listening with kindness and compassion, with the goal of making meaningful connections with one another.

It is this dance of empathy and understanding that that can make us feel uplifted and accepted, and is the pathway to the deeper relationships we all desire and need to live a more soulful life.

This month I’ve been working for Statistics Canada as an enumerator for the 2026 census. The deadline for completion of the mandatory questionnaire – a relatively straightforward task best completed online – was May 12, so from June until mid-July, enumerators were hired across the country, tasked with chasing the remaining 10% of householders who had not yet completed their questionnaires.

The job entailed knocking on doors unannounced, hoping to catch the householder at home and to complete the form together, or to encourage them to do it online, reminding them that failure to do so would result in a $500 fine. Each unresolved case could be handled several times, in person and over the phone (without the ability to leave a message), though a card would be dropped through the mailbox regarding the visit.

Having done this very challenging and exhausting work for a month has reaffirmed my original supposition that this is not the best way to obtain such information. My personal suggestion is to attach the census as an addendum to the tax form – which people are well used to filing every year – to be completed every five years, so people know it’s a ‘census year tax form.’

But in the meantime, the federal government absolutely needs to educate people about the census well in advance, to explain what the data will be used for and its ultimate benefits to the householder in terms of the allocation of government services. If this is to be a mandatory requirement, and not optional, as many householders believe, then census marketing and messaging needs to be more frequent, widespread and easily understandable.

Without this level of awareness, sending out ‘foot soldiers’ approaching householders unannounced to obtain such information is sure to be met with difficulties. We no longer live in an age where people are comfortable answering the door to unexpected strangers, or to answer a call from a number we don’t recognize.

People have a right to privacy in their home free from unsolicited calls, and even though we are classed as government agents, without being provided with pre-clearance elements like buzzer codes, I often had to skulk around outside apartment buildings and sneak in with a resident or pizza delivery guy.

Caught unprepared, it’s thus not surprising that many householders responded with suspicion or disinterest. Some were glad of the help in getting the form done or at least for the reminder to complete it online as soon as possible, and I’m grateful that, for the most part, I did not receive the torrents of abuse that some other enumerators did.

Regardless of the merits of enumerating this way, people always have a choice in how they respond in such situations. It is never necessary to be rude, let alone hostile. We can always choose to respond with kindness, or at very least, with courtesy and politeness. It’s unfortunate that we live in an age of suspicion and an expectation of being defrauded, rather than helped.

Census enumeration represents, like any other unexpected interaction, an opportunity to respond with openness and empathy. And for me, I think interacting with enumerators in a positive manner says as much about what it means to be Canadian, as any of the information being gathered. Perhaps a timely message in advance of Canada Day. 🍁

I’ve recently started doing these Spelling Bee puzzles. You gain points and progress through levels by making 4-9 letter words, always ensuring to use the centre letter. I started doing one version and am now up to three a day. I try to attain the coveted ‘Genius’ level for at least one of them, but there are days when I don’t even come close. Regardless, it’s an enjoyable pastime, which wakes me up in the morning, and that I can play while waiting, or during the stress-inducing pursuit of taking public transit in this city.

Apart from marvelling at words I didn’t realize I knew and learning many more, I’ve actually found it has helped me gain a perspective on problem solving in general.

Whenever I approach a puzzle, on first consideration, there are usually things I can see and do immediately. I tend to pounce on the familiar and take any steps that are easily attainable. But inevitably, after a certain time, I often get stuck, frustrated and want to abandon the whole undertaking.

One feature of the puzzle is that you can move the letters around the honeycomb and see them from different angles. I find this helpful because just as in life, the same approach to a solution may not work every time and we tend to go wrong when we expect that it always will. I’ve found if I can approach a problem from a different perspective, I can often see other options, like words that oddly emerge that I hadn’t expected to find.

 Of course, when I’m tired, I will not get very far, and if I give myself a bit of space and leave the problem for a time and come back to it, sometimes there are aspects that pop up that I hadn’t been able to see or consider before.

 Also, if I really want to achieve something – be it ‘Genius’ status or an important goal in my life, it’s unlikely to happen instantly or quickly. If I push through my frustration and persist at it with will and determination, I am more likely to get to where I need to go.

Yes, on the surface, Spelling Bee, like Wordle, is a fun puzzle that occupies some time and often a considerable number of brain cells. But it’s also allowed me to consider and to deliberate on my approach to many other aspects of my life and to see where I’m going wrong. It has helped me to see how determination, along with flexibility, patience, creativity and persistence are the best ways for me to reach a positive and fulfilling outcome.

I recently made a trip to the United States. There are many Canadians who now refuse to travel to the US, and in today’s political climate, it feels almost taboo to even discuss plans to do so. And what a shame, because there are so many interesting, amazing and beautiful parts of the country, with much of it steeped in intriguing history. This is what drew me to Charleston and Savannah, and I was particularly interested in how the shameful legacy of slavery was currently being presented in museums and walking tours. I have to say that I was very impressed with the openness and honesty with which such topics were being addressed.

Throughout my travels, I was also privileged to meet so many kind and helpful people, from the accommodation that let me check in early and leave my bags late, to welcoming singers of a very musical choir, from a cashier who let me use her points card, to a woman who gave me an impromptu tour of her church where Martin Luther King had once preached. Nearly everywhere I went, people were friendly, courteous and wanting to help.

I think it’s a big mistake to equate the people of a country with its politics. Political systems can be hard to change, especially peacefully, and there are a great many Americans who don’t support the current administration and are adamantly upset and ashamed of its policies. One day, I happened upon a ‘No Kings’ protest, which consisted of several hundred people demonstrating peacefully and listening to uplifting speeches calling for unity and collective responsibility.

Of course, there are many terrible and violent things going on in the US, as there are in other parts of the world. But there are also many people countering injustice and inequality with acts of great courage and compassion. I prefer to evaluate a somewhere based on local initiatives, and I find that talking to people is the best way to discover what’s truly going on in a place, beyond its depictions in the media.

I think it’s worth remembering that humanity is the same wherever you go. You will meet decent, kind, honourable people, as well as those who aren’t very honest or nice. While exercising caution, I recommend venturing into new places with an open mind and heart and to give people the benefit of the doubt, until experiences prove otherwise. This has always been my approach travelling solo throughout the world, and it has generally served me well.

I learned many things from this trip, most especially that beyond the hype and hysteria exist a great number of Americans who are like everyone else, trying to live their lives peacefully and asking to be given a fair chance.

This month, I had a genuine Friday the 13^th experience. As we were due a snowstorm that day, I planned to stay home and catch up on various tasks. I was trying unsuccessfully to scan some documents with my ancient laptop and contacted the printer company to get some help.

Long story short, it seems as though I accessed a fraudulent website acting as this company and foolishly allowed the ‘technician’ access to my computer, whereupon it was hacked. The man at the other end sounded so trustworthy and sincere in wanting to help me get up and running, that I honestly didn’t cotton on until he started asking for huge sums of money to fix the problem. It was at this point that I ended the call and shut down the laptop, it finally donning on me that I’d been scammed.

Thus ended my cozy day at home and a instead, a trek out into the howling snowstorm to try and get my computer wiped of any infected viruses. But with the laptop being so old, none of the computer stores I went to recommended doing so. I had been planning on replacing my laptop for a newer model, but in my own time and not in a mad panic, which is how things panned out. Fortunately, after a long trudge on public transit to the other end of the city, I came home with a very nice laptop, but it was a hard lesson learned.

It was an upsetting experience and I felt violated and was angry with myself for getting duped, though of course, the outcome could have been a lot worse.  I do feel it’s a natural inclination to believe that others are willing to help us, and it takes a particular kind of nastiness of those who prey on vulnerable people, earning their trust and cheating them out of hard-earned money and personal security.

Fraud has adapted well to our evolving technology and internet scams are so prevalent that nobody I spoke to seemed surprised by the one I fell into. These days, with our reliance on the internet and its maelstrom of information, it’s getting harder to know what’s reputable or who or what to trust anymore.

Certainly, this was a wake-up call to me to be vigilant and on my guard with internet sites. But I refuse to let it make me paranoid or unwilling to trust in the benevolence of most humankind.. Even throughout my ordeal, everyone I encountered – at the bank, my fellow passengers, computer salespeople – were all very kind and sympathetic to my plight. What a sad state it would be to feel you could no longer trust anyone, which would only result in poisoning your soul and making you feel very isolated.

The internet, even with its falsehoods and scams, has also opened up opportunities globally for people to connect and help one another in unprecedented ways. So while remaining intelligent and astute while using it– just as we would with any tool, I will continue to believe that the virtual community has far more good apples than bad and and an incredible scope for forging meaningful connections and for leading to mutually positive and beneficial outcomes.

And I have an awesome new laptop. 💻

We have just emerged from the spectacle of the Winter Olympics, a breathtaking display of the best winter athletes from around the world coming together to compete in a variety of sports, many of which we would never have heard of otherwise. We were treated to a wide variety of dazzling, gravity-defying feats in a spirit of excellence and achievement.

 And yet, so much of what I heard over the course of the two weeks were grumbles of criticism and judgement. A particular nation’s athlete being allowed to participate, a curler cursing, a figure skater falling. Certainly in a competition of this magnitude, there will be incidents, performance errors and worse – accidents, as well as inappropriate behaviour, misplaced political gestures and various other faux pas.

Commenting on these occurrences may have a place, but we shouldn’t allow such issues to overshadow the brilliance of the competitive displays being paraded before our eyes. In our relentless bid to disparage situations, we should not lose sight of the privilege of witnessing the amazing abilities of these athletes.

While the Olympics come round every couple of years, within our everyday lives there are countless examples of people achieving incredible things – surgeons, engineers, firefighters, educators, to name but a few. Ordinary people that through determination, ambition, bravery and skill strive to create better outcomes for others.

And yet, our society is in a constant mode of criticism. Our technological innovations and now AI have made us expect results quickly and flawlessly delivered so we have forgotten that this is not the way that people normally function. Moreover, we so often get impatient with one another and take for granted all the hard work and enormous effort that many so people regularly undertake.

Humans were never meant to be perfect but we are still capable of achieving monumental things. Of course, we are equally capable of performing despicable acts, and these are often what receive the most attention.

But we must never forget – and the Olympics are a good reminder – that we have the potential to accomplish remarkable outcomes if we pursue our goals with hard work and determination. We are all capable of feats beyond what we think ourselves possible and it’s the pursuit of our own Olympic journey that us and makes us grow and the eventual attainment of our goal something to make us proud.

While January marks the start of the calendar year, I’ve always thought it an odd time to make resolutions, being catapulted from the high-spirited holidays into the deepest cold, dark, snowy days of winter. However, such is the tradition and we can do worse than emulate the buds as they stir beneath the soil, ready to emerge into the new life of Spring.

My resolution this year is to fix the things in my life that don’t work, from the big, meaningful issues like health and employment, all the way down to any items that are not functioning.

I began with the backpack I use every day, which developed a zipper with teeth that would no longer stay closed. I thought getting the zipper repaired, if not replaced, would be relatively straightforward in such a big city, and was thus amazed to find myself over several weeks immersed in what I termed a ‘bag-a-saga’, as I trawled through any clothing alteration shops, dry cleaners and shoe repair places I could find, all of them either telling me they couldn’t fix or replace the zipper, or that it would cost an extortionate amount and wasn’t worth doing.

 I truly love this bag – it suits all of my needs, and a similar one proved difficult to find. I also try not to give in to our readily disposable culture if I can repair what I already have. Undeterred by the dozen or so places I’d already tried, I had another two hopefuls lined up, and one day after work, duly trekked out to them in the blustering snow. The first place fixed one side of the zipper but couldn’t do the other, so I schlepped to yet another shoe repair shop, by this point vowing to pay whatever was asked for, and lo and behold, the man said all I needed was a new slider, come back in half an hour, $20, job done. Amen.

What I learned from this bag-a-saga, trifling as it was, is that anything is possible if you keep at it, regardless of the size or scope of the issue. However, once you put the intention of what you need resolved out into the universe, it is equally important to consistently work at making it a reality, through regular and focused actions. In our current society, we often expect quick results and get frustrated by delays or a seeming lack of progress. But if you keep steadily at something, being open and willing, while unwavering in your determination, results can and will happen over time.

Undoubtedly, it can be very difficult wading through uncertainty, anxiety, procrastination and despondency, and sometimes the biggest battle is fighting against the seeming hopelessness of ever achieving a positive outcome.

It’s also very easy to instruct someone to keep at something and so much harder to do it yourself. There is not a lot of glamour in grunt work, but the true magic happens when the universe meets you halfway, providing, through often unexpected means, a pathway of sunlight through a storm, leading you to reach a better place on the other side.

It seems like this year’s Christmas buying build up has been slightly more muted than previous years. I don’t know if it’s within a climate of malaise over events happening in the world or just the general unaffordability of everyday life, but somehow it seems like there’s been less of a gluttonous present-buying frenzy and a stronger move towards the holiday being about gathering with family and friends and for everyone to find an approach to this season that feels meaningful and right to them.

I don’t personally celebrate Christmas, which takes any pressure of preparing for it out of my hands, including the quest to find the perfect presents for people. But with regards to gifts – my birthday unceremoniously falling right after Christmas – I can honestly say that the best gifts I’ve received – and try to give – are those that show a true degree of thoughtfulness. The gift can be small or maybe not even an item, but a helpful act or kind gesture. For me, the value of these can’t be underestimated because it demonstrates a real connection with another person and seeing them for who they truly are, what is meaningful to them and the importance they bring to your lives.

The best thing about such gifts is that we can all give and receive them, not just on a particular day but every day. We can choose to be less judgmental and to not respond with anger or impatience. We can choose to acknowledge and respect one another and to have compassion for each other’s challenges and imperfections. We can also learn to appreciate each and every person that helps us in our lives in whatever small way – from bus drivers, to cleaners and shop assistants, to our family, neighbours, colleagues and friends that help and support us in so many ways and yet we so often take for granted.

What a difference it would make if we really showed our appreciation and gratitude in our daily encounters. What if we could smile at people more, thank people more earnestly and help out wherever we can. Such acts, however small, may just be the gift another person is needing to receive. There is truly nothing more valuable than a gift of kindness, consideration, empathy and compassion, always available and universally welcome.

Happy holidays everyone. May they be gentle and full of love, peace and understanding. ❤️